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Writer's pictureEtte Ann

The Ghost is Guilt

The air felt chilly.


Summer nights were like that sometimes. This time around though, Albedo knew it was definitely not because of the weather.


As he stood in front of the librarian’s table, he felt himself breaking into a sweat.


“These are some strange books, Sir Albedo,” Lisa said with a knowing tone.


Albedo hoped his expression didn’t betray him, but it was hard not to feel nervous in this situation. In fact, he could feel his heart dropping as he tried to remember the excuse he had come up with earlier. It wasn’t by any means viable for someone as smart as her, but he hoped that she would grace him with the benefit of the doubt. Why didn’t he just steal the books, you ask? Well, that would be like asking for death itself.


“Good evening, Miss Lisa,” he greeted. “They’re for an experiment. A potion to change one’s appearance to help with the Knights’ undercover missions.”


As expected, Lisa didn’t look convinced, but she shrugged and recorded the borrowing down for him. It was less than satisfactory, but it gave him time to come up with something more concrete, so he went home and everything was fine for the night. Or so he thought.


When he reached home, that chill still haunted him. Like a ghost peeking from behind his shoulder as he read, like a sensation of guilt after doing something bad, but he knew what he was doing wasn’t bad, right? These two people had done bad things, yet he couldn’t help but feel pity for them. Not because he thought they were less than, despite them being considered ‘mistakes’ by their creators, but because he saw himself in them. What if he found himself in their shoes?


They were both made of chalk. Both inherently ‘evil’ in the eyes of the world, yet they also had the power to change that. And having been accepted by Mondstadt as he was, he also wanted to change that for his two… brothers, he supposed. One having been made by the same person, it was only fitting to call him that, and although the other one was quite half-witted, there was no other way to call someone with a face so similar it was identical. There were other motives too, of course. For him, it was an experiment, a challenge. Despite that, he couldn’t shake off the guilt.


Why was he guilty? He wasn’t sure either. Maybe it was the fact that his ‘brother’ had impersonated him and manipulated the other one to do his bidding, but even moreso, Albedo had to admit there was a lingering question of ‘what if’. What if he had been the one to be discarded? Would he have done even worse things? There was no way he could go on without helping knowing he could have been in that person’s shoes. Still, this was probably against Mondstadt’s laws.




There was so much warning one could give a child before one realized there was no helping it. During breakfast, Albedo had tried explaining to Klee about how these two men were strangers to them. Strangers, okay? Do not call them by the names you have decided for them, no matter how cute they are, okay? Despite only having known each other for a few days, Klee had grown very fond of her two newly-acquired brothers. Her feelings were reciprocated very well; especially by the youngest one. They played house almost all the time, and he allowed her to do whatever with his hair and nails. The only other person who gave her so much freedom over their fashion and appearance was Kaeya.


Anyway, it only took half a day before she was gossiping away with Lisa during their little tea party, telling her with a happy grin, “Klee has three big brothers now!”

Albedo couldn’t help but flinch.


“Oh? Does this have to do with Albedo’s two new assistants that are, for some reason, living in your home, Klee?” Lisa asked with another knowing look on her face. To be honest, now that he was recalling it, whatever expression she had always seemed to have a knowing or mocking look to it.


“Ye—”


“Klee’s talking about Kaeya and Bennett, of course,” Albedo attempted valiantly. “Kaeya and Bennett had a sleepover at our house last weekend. It was quite the event.”


Overhearing this, the two men looked at each other and whispered, “I’m Kaeya?”


“I’m Bennett?”


Just as Lisa opened her mouth, Albedo decided he had enough of this and bid his goodbyes, pulling his newly-hired assistants and Klee with him.


However, new problems arose when they got home.


The moment dinner was served, second-Albedo immediately spoke, “That is such an unfitting name that you decided by yourself.”


“Bennett… Bennett…” the other one murmured, as he had been doing since this afternoon. Maybe he was testing which way was best to pronounce it, or trying to memorize it and etch it into his brain.


Albedo sighed. “Those were names of other people. When I’m done with this potion, you can roam around with whatever name you decide for yourself.”


“Well, why do I have to change my name? Why do I have to change my appearance just because I’m a ‘failure’ by our creator’s standards? This blockhead would probably agree with whatever you say, but I think you’re not as good a person as you’re making yourself out to be, Albedo,” he bit out angrily.


Klee could only look at them in confusion.


The next day, it was only his luck that he crossed paths with Lisa as they entered the Favonius HQ. Seeing his rare troubled face, she asked, “Trouble in paradise?”


Not knowing what to say, he replied with a greeting instead. “Good morning to you, Miss Lisa.”


“I heard something interesting from Jean yesterday. Apparently, you left Klee in the care of two strangers? Two men that Jean has never even seen before, care to explain?” Upon hearing silence, she continued her interrogation. “Also, I remember those two men’s appearances seem to fit the description in the book you borrowed, Sir Albedo.”


Under her scrutiny, he could only sigh. “I’ll be honest, Miss Lisa, it’s a very long story.”


“I have time. I’m just a librarian, after all.”


In the end, he found himself with the two ladies in Jean’s office. The latter was contemplating the situation with a deep frown. “The crimes they have committed are far from unforgivable. What about this? …”


The punishment Jean concluded with was to serve community service in the church for two years. Albedo was fine with this; it was a just sentence. However, Lisa didn’t allow him to leave so easily. She persuaded him to come with her to the library, in which the second interrogation took place.


When he was done explaining his worries and woes, she hummed in thought. “These two you’re talking about, they can be considered children in terms of experience, but their wanting to have their own original names is very much humane. I think, if they want to use the name ‘Albedo’, then that should be their right even though it might throw some people off. The most important thing is that you think of them as your equal,” was what she ended up saying and it echoed in his head over and over when he went home that day. Sure, he could ignore it while he was working, but as the wind blew by, he was left alone with his thoughts.


Lisa was right. Albedo had been thinking of this pair not as lower than him exactly, but he also hadn’t been paying attention to what they wanted in the first place. Who was he to decide if they wanted to live in a fake life with a fake face their whole lives?




“I’m not going to be happy just because you’ve done this for us. What do you think we are, a pity project?” second-Albedo said while crossing his arms. “Who wants to have your lame name anyways? Sharing a name with a person like you…” he grumbled.


One would think that this person must be incredibly spoiled, to say such a thing after having his wishes granted, but after living with them for a while, Albedo had come to realize that this man was sort of a tsundere. Albedo knew it was going to take a while for him to soften up, but the blush on his cheeks already showed how he was in agreement.


“Food!” third-Albedo cheered, coming from the kitchen with Klee. Lately, he’d been taking up hobbies like cooking and gardening. The neighbors had even gotten used to having him around. When Albedo went out, they kept asking him where he was. It was pretty nice to see him fitting in well in Mondstadt.


“What’s all this food for?” second-Albedo asked.


Klee pushed him to the dining table, which he was powerless to get away from. “It’s for a celebration!”


Second-Albedo looked at Albedo questioningly, to which he replied, “It’s worth celebrating, isn’t it? Your freedom.”


In response, second-Albedo snorted. “What freedom? Community service isn’t freedom.”


“Oh? Would you rather be in jail, then?”


“No!” Klee disagreed. “Now, you can accompany me with fish-bombing! It’ll make it seem like Mr. Albedo is with me!”


Albedo squinted at the little elf’s plan, wondering where she got this idea. Second-Albedo just snorted again before sitting down and starting to eat.


After returning home from the Knights HQ that day, Albedo really felt that a weight had been taken off of his shoulders. Whatever the future would bring later, he was at least feeling positive now. There was nothing else he was hiding, and he wasn’t alone in this anymore. Watching his newly-adopted brothers and somewhat-of-a-little-sister converse at the dining table, he thought that he finally had what humans called family. Despite none of them being human, he was glad that he could experience this kind of closeness. He couldn’t stop his smile from blooming.


Part of Ex Animo Zine

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